I'm tired. But I can't sleep. I feel like am so sensitive to everything? GU! Say it with me. GU! Not Ugh. That takes to much throat effort. I feel like I have the patience of a 4 year old, the nerves of a 65 year old, the heart and compassion of a young mother, and the sorrow of a widow. I've never felt my age and I dont' think I've ever acted it. People just annoy me so much lately and pretty easily too. I find myself constantly complaining and enable to chit chat about the good. Kinda like unable to appreciate the blue jays in the yard when there are flies buzzing around you on the patio? Obviously your present company notices the birds but do they SEE these dadgum flies?!
I think it's important for me to recognize that I am more often that not angry and scared. Angry at the flies and scared that next time the flies come, there won't be blue jays in the yard- maybe even there will be hail. Who APPRECIATES hail?! And I'll stew longer in frustration over the hail than I was smiling over the blue jays! Why am I like this?! I'm not a morning person. I'm not someone who can live without chocolate on a daily basis. Who drinks water and nothing else. I'm a gluttonous night owl ok? And why is it easier to be negative?
I used to only get so upset when something was unfair- a comment, and outcome. And now, I find myself in annoyance to the point of ANGER over ridiculousness.
The cop at the movies that warned us against cell phone use or dismissal and where we could not put our feet. The text message of cancelled weekend plans when "they" knew 9 hours before. The 15 year old girl at the dentist crying hysterically because she didn't want the pain of getting a cavity fixed at her appointment. You don't see ME crying because I have to pay $184 of my own money for some middle aged man to call me sweetie and prod around in my mouth accusing me of not flossing. I can get that at home for free. Ok?
See what I mean? You"re probably nodding along with me, seeing my side and reason, but why can't I let it GOOOO?
It's like I'm constantly holding a stick of dynamite- I suddenly don't care that the dry cleaners ruined my vintage skirt. And tomorrow depends on where that stick of dynamite ended up. Not my precious skirt!
Am I just Negative Nancy? Or am I Doomed Dana?
I feel like both.
I wish I could be Right Rachel or Justified Janice over here.
Anywho the point of my blogging is to:
Blow off some humor and sarcasm. (I'm full of it)
Update people on my family and our trailer trashed version of Walton Mountain
Outreach/Inreach to me and my craziness.
I'm hoping it's entertaining and insightful as well as healing/therapeutic for me.
I'm hoping it won't be a rantmobile-although that's part of it. Wow my hand is sore from write-rambling. ok. More thoughts later.
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
"Am I just Negative Nancy? Or am I Doomed Dana?
ReplyDeleteI feel like both.
I wish I could be Right Rachel or Justified Janice over here."
How about Amazing Amber? That wouldn't be too far off now would it? Don't get too down, we all go through spells like this. Believe me, I am the worst!