Goodness gracious I am wiped out tonight.
My insomnia schedule has changed in that I can now fallll asleep, but I have been waking up at 3am every day and having to change what I'm sleeping in or eat something or drink a gallon of water. It's insane trying to convince yourself you are exhausted at 3am. So it goes.
I really took charge today. I had 13 kiddos today :) Some of the teacher's kids that have been home all summer with their mommies have been transitioning back into the classroom this week especially since they are all moving up on Monday. Big day. I will definitely cry when it hits me that most of my class is not going to be with me anymore :(
I changed the better part of 72 diapers today. 2 were full on 3lbs of green avocado poop. Blech. Some got on me on one of them. I didn't freak out, but I definitely used about half a box of wipes on my hand in that 20 seconds.
One key difference I've noticed about myself is that I talk about myself in third person ALLLLL THEEEE TIMEEEE. Help "Miss Amber" pick up blocks. Don't hit "Miss Amber"- it makes her sad. Please keep your boogers on your finger. It makes "Miss Amber" sick.
After work, I treated myself to icecream because of the poop incident.
I met Tyler, my bbff at FPL for a play called Hamlet, Zombie Killer of Denmark. Pretty stinkin funny for local community live theater :)
I think the most exercise I got today though was my ninja like skills when I walked through a spider web in the entry to my house.
This was way funnier in my head. Sorry.
Goodnight. :)
-Amber
Thursday, July 28, 2011
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
oh mylanta
Oh gracious. Where have I been? Hopefully you have missed me! All last week, Dad had the laptop down at camp at Roaring River and so I didn't have anything to blog on...
I am in much better spirits this week.
I LOOOOOOVE MY JOB ya'll.....
I am one of the teachers at Bright Haven CLC in Springdale. I'm a floater and right now I am in the 18 month- 2 year old class. I have 11 kiddos usually. They are just so fun. When I get there at 9, they are having their power snack. They are just so cute and sooo smart and so fun.
My little ladies are: Lily, Lexi, Nylah, Alice, and Bailey.
My boys are: Chase, Khristian, Braxton, Kyler, Braeden, Reece, and Evan.
So sometimes we have 12.
Lily is so smart and already forming tons of sentences together. She is such a little momma. She feeds her babies at play time and hugs and kisses anyone who falls down. She also knows all her numbers, colors, shapes, and letters, and she will repeat any big word you ask her to. "Disappointed" and "Caterpillar" are some of my favorite this week. She also says "turt-el" and "wadder" soooo sweetly. She's already a little bit of a control freak- like me.
Lexi is a sweeeetheart. She's very shy and timid and for most of the day she is on my hip or in my lap. When she gets excited, her mouth stretches so wide and she starts shaking. So cute.
Nylah is so sweet and a little bit of a mischief maker.
Alice is new to our class. She's actually supposed to be in the class below us, but she's bigger than the rest of them and she bites! So she's in our class so she won't be such a bully. She's been very sweet this week and she's got pink eye :(
I haven't gotten to know Bailey much yet. She's very tall and very athletic.
Oh my boys.
Chase is soo sweet and so well behaved and so smart. He is going to be class president some day I can already tell. He sleeps with a monkey, and he snores sooooo loud.
Khristian has bright red hair and pulls this hair when it's time to nap. He's very independent and sweet and well behaved.
Kyler will not wear his right shoe and he's very smart and very mischievous. He's a stinker.
Braxton does what he wants when he wants. He's very sweet when he's by himself, but for the most part, if Braxton is happy, he's doing something wrong. Such a sweet face. Watch out lil ladies!
Braeden doesn't participate in our group things a lot, he does what he wants and does it quietly and he is veryy smart. He says "triangle" sooo cute. I love it.
Reece is sooo stinkin smart and very tall! He is such a sweetheart! I love lil reeces pieces! He knows all his colors, shapes, and letters, and can count to ten in English, Spanish, AND French. Can you do that!? He can count to 20 in English. He is very independent but loves the attention too.
Now Evan, I would take a bullet for. He spends all his time in my lap. This little boy just has my heart. He has blonde hair, BIG blue eyes, and he's a chunk. Alll boy. He is just the sweetest boy- with some big tantrums :)
They nap for 2 hours during the day, and I'm learning all the songs and little tricks along the way. 12 kiddos in 9 hours is a LOT! When I finally get off work, Im so hungry and I take the backroads home, shaving some minutes off my commute. However, I have the energy of a dead squirrel. :S
I'll try not to make my posts all about my kiddos, but I don't really do anything else. I come home, eat something, and shower, and crawl into bed. I'm uber lamo.
I do have a funny story about my Dad though,
Yesterday when I came home from work, I was juuuust beat. I had ran errands on my lunch and after I got off work, I went to Sam's AND wal-mart. I was dragging. Saying goodbye to all my kids and meeting their parents and visiting took a lot out of me too. Anywho, dad said he had bought me some microwave dinners for either dinner or to take to lunch and they were Fretto something or other....I was like, Ok....he really pushed for me to eat one so he made one, and said they were pasta. I was like, do you mean Fettuccine Alfredo?
Ya! That's it.
It wasn't bad.
Good ole Dad.
Night ya'll.
I know it's 8pm, but 7 am comes way faster than it used to....
Thanks for reading.
-Amber
I am in much better spirits this week.
I LOOOOOOVE MY JOB ya'll.....
I am one of the teachers at Bright Haven CLC in Springdale. I'm a floater and right now I am in the 18 month- 2 year old class. I have 11 kiddos usually. They are just so fun. When I get there at 9, they are having their power snack. They are just so cute and sooo smart and so fun.
My little ladies are: Lily, Lexi, Nylah, Alice, and Bailey.
My boys are: Chase, Khristian, Braxton, Kyler, Braeden, Reece, and Evan.
So sometimes we have 12.
Lily is so smart and already forming tons of sentences together. She is such a little momma. She feeds her babies at play time and hugs and kisses anyone who falls down. She also knows all her numbers, colors, shapes, and letters, and she will repeat any big word you ask her to. "Disappointed" and "Caterpillar" are some of my favorite this week. She also says "turt-el" and "wadder" soooo sweetly. She's already a little bit of a control freak- like me.
Lexi is a sweeeetheart. She's very shy and timid and for most of the day she is on my hip or in my lap. When she gets excited, her mouth stretches so wide and she starts shaking. So cute.
Nylah is so sweet and a little bit of a mischief maker.
Alice is new to our class. She's actually supposed to be in the class below us, but she's bigger than the rest of them and she bites! So she's in our class so she won't be such a bully. She's been very sweet this week and she's got pink eye :(
I haven't gotten to know Bailey much yet. She's very tall and very athletic.
Oh my boys.
Chase is soo sweet and so well behaved and so smart. He is going to be class president some day I can already tell. He sleeps with a monkey, and he snores sooooo loud.
Khristian has bright red hair and pulls this hair when it's time to nap. He's very independent and sweet and well behaved.
Kyler will not wear his right shoe and he's very smart and very mischievous. He's a stinker.
Braxton does what he wants when he wants. He's very sweet when he's by himself, but for the most part, if Braxton is happy, he's doing something wrong. Such a sweet face. Watch out lil ladies!
Braeden doesn't participate in our group things a lot, he does what he wants and does it quietly and he is veryy smart. He says "triangle" sooo cute. I love it.
Reece is sooo stinkin smart and very tall! He is such a sweetheart! I love lil reeces pieces! He knows all his colors, shapes, and letters, and can count to ten in English, Spanish, AND French. Can you do that!? He can count to 20 in English. He is very independent but loves the attention too.
Now Evan, I would take a bullet for. He spends all his time in my lap. This little boy just has my heart. He has blonde hair, BIG blue eyes, and he's a chunk. Alll boy. He is just the sweetest boy- with some big tantrums :)
They nap for 2 hours during the day, and I'm learning all the songs and little tricks along the way. 12 kiddos in 9 hours is a LOT! When I finally get off work, Im so hungry and I take the backroads home, shaving some minutes off my commute. However, I have the energy of a dead squirrel. :S
I'll try not to make my posts all about my kiddos, but I don't really do anything else. I come home, eat something, and shower, and crawl into bed. I'm uber lamo.
I do have a funny story about my Dad though,
Yesterday when I came home from work, I was juuuust beat. I had ran errands on my lunch and after I got off work, I went to Sam's AND wal-mart. I was dragging. Saying goodbye to all my kids and meeting their parents and visiting took a lot out of me too. Anywho, dad said he had bought me some microwave dinners for either dinner or to take to lunch and they were Fretto something or other....I was like, Ok....he really pushed for me to eat one so he made one, and said they were pasta. I was like, do you mean Fettuccine Alfredo?
Ya! That's it.
It wasn't bad.
Good ole Dad.
Night ya'll.
I know it's 8pm, but 7 am comes way faster than it used to....
Thanks for reading.
-Amber
Friday, July 15, 2011
Truthful Tuesday: I've been unemployed so long, I don't even know what day it is anymore.
So my parents and Roberto are fixing to leave to go camping for 10 days at Roaring River. I don't want to go. Are you kidding me? 10 days in a bus with my family fighting over one tv? No thanks. I plan on going up one day next week to hike and eat and stuff, but I'm not ready for a week of torturous family time.
Our air conditioner has been having problems though and so the ac professionals are going to come out this week and tear out the old one and rebuild it on a firmer foundation because it's been leaking condensation and water like crazy the past week onto the carpet in the bathroom. Dad finalllly started shop vaccing it out a couple days ago, and I finally asked him why he didn't just use our shampooer to suck up the gushy carpet water. I'm a genius right? So anyways, they've been tinkering with the ac and the electrical wires and they've torn out 2 walls of paneling (yes, paneling) and I'm thinking the way that my luck goes, I'm going to be trapped at home for 10 days with my cat with either no power or no ac. Looking forward to some alone time and getting my laundry done, all 6 loads-how I want- and to CLEAN the snot out of this house. I try to stay in my room at all times when I'm here because the state of the junk piles on every surface just frustrate me and stress me out so bad. And the laundry smells. You can bet I'll be rewashing all the "linens" this week. Grrr. I went and checked that Mom's keyboard was still in the motor home- there's a HUGE space under the master bed in there. I know where I'll be storing my next body. WOOT.
Tuesday, I had an interview at Bright Haven Learning Center in Springdale. It's basically a Christian childcare center. I have an "observation interview" Monday morning. Wish me luck and pray for me. I'm officially out of money and savings. Taking care of mom and entertaining her and cooking and cleaning pays squat around here. It really stresses me out. I think I've figured out that it's not that I "can't sleep", it's that I can't fall asleep. No matter when I take my meds my doctor has me on, I can't fall asleep til after 4am and love to sleep til 2pm. This sucks. Especially when I need to do something the next day.
I went to FPL twice this week with Mom. I've been checking out Dvds. So far I've watched, Joe versus the Volcano, The Color Purple, Bridges of Madison County, City of Angels, Blue Valentine, The Reader, Return to Snowy River, Bullit, and Memoirs of a Geisha. Next is Cool Hand Luke.
Next week I want to go take advantage of the chairs that overlook the downtown and some Arsagas. Who doesn't love arsagas #amiright? Mom got the new testament on tape, and i got slaughter house five. I'm excited.
Ya'll- I have been eating better this week for sure. Not only are we out of the little debbies that I like, but I have been making these awesome salads everyday. I bought a container of dark greens and have been adding cucumber, an enitre carrot, bacon strips, sharp cheddar cheese, tomatoes, and zesty italian dressing.
RECIPE
Lately, I have been marinating chicken breasts in a huge squeeze of zesty italian dressing in a ziplock and then broiling it the next day. I also chunk up sweet potatoes and regular potatoes with the peels still on them, put thm on a cookie sheet and drizzle with oil and then shake fajita seasoning on them- like taco seasoning,but it's fajita, and then roll them around with my hands to get a good coat and then broiling them. The potatoes take about 12-15 minutes, and the chicken no more than 15 if you cut it up in nugget size pieces. YUMMMO. The dressing really makes the chicken TENDER and flavorful and the oil and seasoning add flavor to both potatoes plus they kinda fry up like fried potatoes. Yum. It's really good on my salad too. If you're keeping tabs, Hugo doesn't like cheerios, carrots, cucumbers, or sweet potatoes.
Here's a video of my lil one eating lettuce.
He's enjoying Mommmy's salad choice too:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J9gqw3tmrws
Also, I really wanna open the courts back up!!! Who wants to give me some moneys?! I want to do a family style dining in the back, and do a bakery up front. If this daytime daycare thing doesn't work out, I will definitely see what I can do to get that MAYBE started. Gosh. What a dream job.
If you are on twitter, you know that I'm basically a retweeter. My handle is amberdtyree by the way.
Here's some tweets from some of my followers that I found hilarious and want to share with you.
-I dream of the day when someone orders a #2 at a fast food place, that the cashier drops his pants, poops on a tray, and hands it to them.
-The suggestion box at my work flushes. :(
-Everytime the doorbell rings, my dog runs for the door. I don't know why. It's never for him.
-Instead of bear arms, I'd rather have the right to giraffe legs. Let's move on this one Obama!
Ok More thoughts later.
Big Love to my T boys Tyler and Terry, Ash, Jenny, Kate, and Rugo :)
Our air conditioner has been having problems though and so the ac professionals are going to come out this week and tear out the old one and rebuild it on a firmer foundation because it's been leaking condensation and water like crazy the past week onto the carpet in the bathroom. Dad finalllly started shop vaccing it out a couple days ago, and I finally asked him why he didn't just use our shampooer to suck up the gushy carpet water. I'm a genius right? So anyways, they've been tinkering with the ac and the electrical wires and they've torn out 2 walls of paneling (yes, paneling) and I'm thinking the way that my luck goes, I'm going to be trapped at home for 10 days with my cat with either no power or no ac. Looking forward to some alone time and getting my laundry done, all 6 loads-how I want- and to CLEAN the snot out of this house. I try to stay in my room at all times when I'm here because the state of the junk piles on every surface just frustrate me and stress me out so bad. And the laundry smells. You can bet I'll be rewashing all the "linens" this week. Grrr. I went and checked that Mom's keyboard was still in the motor home- there's a HUGE space under the master bed in there. I know where I'll be storing my next body. WOOT.
Tuesday, I had an interview at Bright Haven Learning Center in Springdale. It's basically a Christian childcare center. I have an "observation interview" Monday morning. Wish me luck and pray for me. I'm officially out of money and savings. Taking care of mom and entertaining her and cooking and cleaning pays squat around here. It really stresses me out. I think I've figured out that it's not that I "can't sleep", it's that I can't fall asleep. No matter when I take my meds my doctor has me on, I can't fall asleep til after 4am and love to sleep til 2pm. This sucks. Especially when I need to do something the next day.
I went to FPL twice this week with Mom. I've been checking out Dvds. So far I've watched, Joe versus the Volcano, The Color Purple, Bridges of Madison County, City of Angels, Blue Valentine, The Reader, Return to Snowy River, Bullit, and Memoirs of a Geisha. Next is Cool Hand Luke.
Next week I want to go take advantage of the chairs that overlook the downtown and some Arsagas. Who doesn't love arsagas #amiright? Mom got the new testament on tape, and i got slaughter house five. I'm excited.
Ya'll- I have been eating better this week for sure. Not only are we out of the little debbies that I like, but I have been making these awesome salads everyday. I bought a container of dark greens and have been adding cucumber, an enitre carrot, bacon strips, sharp cheddar cheese, tomatoes, and zesty italian dressing.
RECIPE
Lately, I have been marinating chicken breasts in a huge squeeze of zesty italian dressing in a ziplock and then broiling it the next day. I also chunk up sweet potatoes and regular potatoes with the peels still on them, put thm on a cookie sheet and drizzle with oil and then shake fajita seasoning on them- like taco seasoning,but it's fajita, and then roll them around with my hands to get a good coat and then broiling them. The potatoes take about 12-15 minutes, and the chicken no more than 15 if you cut it up in nugget size pieces. YUMMMO. The dressing really makes the chicken TENDER and flavorful and the oil and seasoning add flavor to both potatoes plus they kinda fry up like fried potatoes. Yum. It's really good on my salad too. If you're keeping tabs, Hugo doesn't like cheerios, carrots, cucumbers, or sweet potatoes.
Here's a video of my lil one eating lettuce.
He's enjoying Mommmy's salad choice too:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J9gqw3tmrws
Also, I really wanna open the courts back up!!! Who wants to give me some moneys?! I want to do a family style dining in the back, and do a bakery up front. If this daytime daycare thing doesn't work out, I will definitely see what I can do to get that MAYBE started. Gosh. What a dream job.
If you are on twitter, you know that I'm basically a retweeter. My handle is amberdtyree by the way.
Here's some tweets from some of my followers that I found hilarious and want to share with you.
-I dream of the day when someone orders a #2 at a fast food place, that the cashier drops his pants, poops on a tray, and hands it to them.
-The suggestion box at my work flushes. :(
-Everytime the doorbell rings, my dog runs for the door. I don't know why. It's never for him.
-Instead of bear arms, I'd rather have the right to giraffe legs. Let's move on this one Obama!
Ok More thoughts later.
Big Love to my T boys Tyler and Terry, Ash, Jenny, Kate, and Rugo :)
Friday, July 8, 2011
If you give a bum a smoke
I swear all of my thoughts are unfinished. I ate my chicken fried rice with chop sticks last night.
Robert's last day at the park is tomorrow and then he's taking off to Colorado to camp for a few months before he comes back to go to UofA. I'm so freaking nervous. You have no idea.
I've come to terms that I may be a redneck. Against all my efforts, some of my efforts are a lil trashy?
For example: last week when it was hot, I went outside on the south end of our house bc that's where the breezes blow and tanned my legs. I had on a bikini bottom and a large T-shirt as a cover up. No big deal right? About 4 hours later, I realized I was in a tequila shirt and bikini bottoms doing my laundry. Redneck.
Then, Sunday when I left for church, as I was getting into my car, my poof from my hair brushed against the top of my Honda. How high could my poof be?! As I drove down the driveway, the weeds and grass that grow in the middle of our looooong gravel driveway were raking along the under carriage of my Honda. Goodness. Huge bouffant and grass in the road. How country could I be?
I'd also like to tell you that my cereal diet is going on splendidly. However, I've eaten 2 packages of cheddar beddar brauts since I bought them and have almost finished off the BIG PACK of Fudge Rounds my dad bought when they went to the Bread Store in Springdale a couple weeks ago. I've been drinking milk with them-even though I'm lactose intolerant.
I forgot to tell my readers that we ended the trial with my mare June. She was misbehaved and flighty. She suddenly got a gut on her and she was going to foal :)
So she's back with her original owner. All for the best. It's too hot for me right now anyways.
So Bridges of Madison County was pretty good. Very special. I think I'll be thinking about it for a very long time.
Happy 17th Birthday to Mary Jameson! Tomorrow is her older brother's birthday. He has been like a brother to me. Happy Birthday to Terry! Chelsea's 24th bday celebration is this weekend too. And bridal day with Christie is Saturday. I'm excited. I'll also be seeing Mudstomp bands Saturday. Excited.
I think I'll end on a good note there.
More thoughts later.
-@
Robert's last day at the park is tomorrow and then he's taking off to Colorado to camp for a few months before he comes back to go to UofA. I'm so freaking nervous. You have no idea.
I've come to terms that I may be a redneck. Against all my efforts, some of my efforts are a lil trashy?
For example: last week when it was hot, I went outside on the south end of our house bc that's where the breezes blow and tanned my legs. I had on a bikini bottom and a large T-shirt as a cover up. No big deal right? About 4 hours later, I realized I was in a tequila shirt and bikini bottoms doing my laundry. Redneck.
Then, Sunday when I left for church, as I was getting into my car, my poof from my hair brushed against the top of my Honda. How high could my poof be?! As I drove down the driveway, the weeds and grass that grow in the middle of our looooong gravel driveway were raking along the under carriage of my Honda. Goodness. Huge bouffant and grass in the road. How country could I be?
I'd also like to tell you that my cereal diet is going on splendidly. However, I've eaten 2 packages of cheddar beddar brauts since I bought them and have almost finished off the BIG PACK of Fudge Rounds my dad bought when they went to the Bread Store in Springdale a couple weeks ago. I've been drinking milk with them-even though I'm lactose intolerant.
I forgot to tell my readers that we ended the trial with my mare June. She was misbehaved and flighty. She suddenly got a gut on her and she was going to foal :)
So she's back with her original owner. All for the best. It's too hot for me right now anyways.
So Bridges of Madison County was pretty good. Very special. I think I'll be thinking about it for a very long time.
Happy 17th Birthday to Mary Jameson! Tomorrow is her older brother's birthday. He has been like a brother to me. Happy Birthday to Terry! Chelsea's 24th bday celebration is this weekend too. And bridal day with Christie is Saturday. I'm excited. I'll also be seeing Mudstomp bands Saturday. Excited.
I think I'll end on a good note there.
More thoughts later.
-@
Thursday, July 7, 2011
My feet smell and my nose runs.
Wednesday 7-6-11
My allergies are outright killing me. My eyeballs itch so bad I wish I could tear them out and soak them in anti-itch cream overnight. My nose drips and then when I blow it, nothing comes out. I wish I could mummify them via cotton balls. I have been taking sudafed, only to return to the box and find out it's sinus medicine. I finally rooted around in the cabinets for allergy medicine. It took a few hours, but I finally feel better. Just absolutely weak and exhausted. Probably mono flaring up. Yahoo.
I'm uber excited because no one covered the tuna fish salad last week when they put it in the fridge... so it smells. Yahoo! And I washed my sheets and "someone" put them in a basket instead of drying them or telling me that they were just laying in a basket and then I guess they recognized that they needed to be dried so they dried them. And they were soured. Yahoo!
I have a good weekend planned. I feel good. I'm going to have a good day today. I can feel it.
More thoughts later.
7-7-11 Thursday
Thursday- my favorite day. Happy Birthday Ringo Starr :)
I have been so blaaaaaaaah this week. Dad has graciously taken Mom to therapy both times this week- making me feel awful and lazy. Oh well. Next week will be different. Therapy has been going good for her. Her therapist, Jamie ran some numbers last week and she's doing better in most of the areas that Jamie set goals for her in. I'm very proud of her. One of the things that Mom is not able to do for many reasons, is drive. So when she told Jamie that, she set her up on a "simulator" on the wii. I asked her if it was a game and Dad said it was. I asked her if she was Princess Peach and my dad was like, Oh my goodness. How did you know that? It's a gift... Ha haha. Apparently Mom got to play Mario Kart on the wii- before I ever have. But I think she enjoyed it.- it was just a challenge for her mind. When Dad checks cows on our lot in Farmington, he usually lets her drive through the fields. And she LOVES it. Robert and I loved it when we were kiddos- basically that's how we learned to drive...
I think Mom's memory has really really really improved. Sometimes she loses her thought in a conversation and it's basically gone forever, but sometimes she absolutely remembers some hard things. For example, a couple of weeks ago, I had to run an errand and go pick up my tax return from our CPA in West Fork. I didn't even know our CPA was IN West Fork, but apparently that's where it is. I had no idea where in West Fork because I never ever ever ever go there. But Mom took me to it. Right and lefted me. Even when I had gone the wrong way. She told me where to go to end up on the right road. WOW right? Dad was so happy. Then the other day, when we were on our way to therapy, Mom said she wanted to ask me two things. I was like great. Here's 35 minutes of her rubbing her head and trying to remember and getting frustrated. I sighed and smiled and asked her, Shoot. She wanted to see a picture on FB of a friend that I graduated with, and his girlfriend. She likes staying up to date on a lot of the people that have been in and sometimes out of my life. Believe me, if you're reading this, she probably asks about you too :)
Also, there is this teeny tiny house on the east end of Bthl Blaktp for sale and I've been ogling it before I ever moved back home. I want my dad to buy it and i rent to own it from him when I finally get a job- maybe when I teach. Anywho, she wanted to stop by and see it. So we did both that morning before it got too hot.
Yesterday I went and applied for a receptionist position at the Toyota Dealership in the AutoPark. Then I went and talked to my friend Markette next door at the Acura dealership and talked to her and her slightly forward co worker, Jules. Jules begged and begged me for my number and kept hitting on me. It was awful. I told him he didn't want me, because I was mean and all that jazz and he was like, you can be mean to me whenever you want. I told him I was about to. He wanted to change himself to be what I wanted him to be. I told him I wanted him to be invisible. Told you I was mean. I ended up giving him Robert's number because I didn't have anyone else's memorized. He has yet to text "me", but I did give him a pretty good go to hell look when he tried to walk me to my car.
I had lunch with Ashtin yesterday which was awesome, and then since I finished the book Memoirs of a Geisha early that morning, I went to Blockbuster to rent the movie. They didn't have it, but the nice guy at the counter said that even though they didn't even carry it anymore, FPL (Fayetteville Public Library) should have it and it would be free. I gave him a big smile and graciously said thank you. What a nice guy!
So I trecked up to FPL.
Pause.
I love FPL, it makes me feel like a true Fayetevillian. I feel city like and important. I rented, Memoirs of a Geisha, Bridges of Madison County, Bullit, and Fiddler on the Roof. I've never seen any of these.
After reading Memoirs of a Geisha all week, I was freaking craving Chinese food (although the story is set in Japan) and I must have made half a box of economy sized Minute Rice this week. So after I watched it the first time last night, I made Chicken Fried Rice tonight to watch it again. Yummy.
Unpause. When I left and went down the elevator, there were 2 other people in there, two men and a woman and one of the men was one of those annoying single talkers that needs to comment on everything even though he's like gotta be over the age of 45. Do you know what I'm talking about? Well he asked me if the temper came with my red hair. I was like, I don't have red hair. He was like, well it looks red. I said prolly because I was standing under one of the lights of the elevator. It was that time that I got out of the elevator with one of the men. He just laughed and said wow. You just never know when it's gonna be one of those. Hahahahahahaa. So I said I guess it's just better to be polite than piss the crazies off.
Anywho, I think that will conclude my thoughts for today. I've been sleeping all freaking day. I have a big weekend this weekend and I'm watching The Big Bang Theory- one I haven't seen yet at that.
I'm honestly tired and after this episode, I'm going to watch Bridges of Madison County. I asked my mom if I would cry, and she said she would, but she cries at everything. I think I'm becoming more emotional though. I've been worried about the testosterone levels in my body lately in my inability to cry. But I cried at the end of Sandlot on the Fourth of July.
Ok. More thoughts later.
Do you have any thoughts for me?
-Amber
My allergies are outright killing me. My eyeballs itch so bad I wish I could tear them out and soak them in anti-itch cream overnight. My nose drips and then when I blow it, nothing comes out. I wish I could mummify them via cotton balls. I have been taking sudafed, only to return to the box and find out it's sinus medicine. I finally rooted around in the cabinets for allergy medicine. It took a few hours, but I finally feel better. Just absolutely weak and exhausted. Probably mono flaring up. Yahoo.
I'm uber excited because no one covered the tuna fish salad last week when they put it in the fridge... so it smells. Yahoo! And I washed my sheets and "someone" put them in a basket instead of drying them or telling me that they were just laying in a basket and then I guess they recognized that they needed to be dried so they dried them. And they were soured. Yahoo!
I have a good weekend planned. I feel good. I'm going to have a good day today. I can feel it.
More thoughts later.
7-7-11 Thursday
Thursday- my favorite day. Happy Birthday Ringo Starr :)
I have been so blaaaaaaaah this week. Dad has graciously taken Mom to therapy both times this week- making me feel awful and lazy. Oh well. Next week will be different. Therapy has been going good for her. Her therapist, Jamie ran some numbers last week and she's doing better in most of the areas that Jamie set goals for her in. I'm very proud of her. One of the things that Mom is not able to do for many reasons, is drive. So when she told Jamie that, she set her up on a "simulator" on the wii. I asked her if it was a game and Dad said it was. I asked her if she was Princess Peach and my dad was like, Oh my goodness. How did you know that? It's a gift... Ha haha. Apparently Mom got to play Mario Kart on the wii- before I ever have. But I think she enjoyed it.- it was just a challenge for her mind. When Dad checks cows on our lot in Farmington, he usually lets her drive through the fields. And she LOVES it. Robert and I loved it when we were kiddos- basically that's how we learned to drive...
I think Mom's memory has really really really improved. Sometimes she loses her thought in a conversation and it's basically gone forever, but sometimes she absolutely remembers some hard things. For example, a couple of weeks ago, I had to run an errand and go pick up my tax return from our CPA in West Fork. I didn't even know our CPA was IN West Fork, but apparently that's where it is. I had no idea where in West Fork because I never ever ever ever go there. But Mom took me to it. Right and lefted me. Even when I had gone the wrong way. She told me where to go to end up on the right road. WOW right? Dad was so happy. Then the other day, when we were on our way to therapy, Mom said she wanted to ask me two things. I was like great. Here's 35 minutes of her rubbing her head and trying to remember and getting frustrated. I sighed and smiled and asked her, Shoot. She wanted to see a picture on FB of a friend that I graduated with, and his girlfriend. She likes staying up to date on a lot of the people that have been in and sometimes out of my life. Believe me, if you're reading this, she probably asks about you too :)
Also, there is this teeny tiny house on the east end of Bthl Blaktp for sale and I've been ogling it before I ever moved back home. I want my dad to buy it and i rent to own it from him when I finally get a job- maybe when I teach. Anywho, she wanted to stop by and see it. So we did both that morning before it got too hot.
Yesterday I went and applied for a receptionist position at the Toyota Dealership in the AutoPark. Then I went and talked to my friend Markette next door at the Acura dealership and talked to her and her slightly forward co worker, Jules. Jules begged and begged me for my number and kept hitting on me. It was awful. I told him he didn't want me, because I was mean and all that jazz and he was like, you can be mean to me whenever you want. I told him I was about to. He wanted to change himself to be what I wanted him to be. I told him I wanted him to be invisible. Told you I was mean. I ended up giving him Robert's number because I didn't have anyone else's memorized. He has yet to text "me", but I did give him a pretty good go to hell look when he tried to walk me to my car.
I had lunch with Ashtin yesterday which was awesome, and then since I finished the book Memoirs of a Geisha early that morning, I went to Blockbuster to rent the movie. They didn't have it, but the nice guy at the counter said that even though they didn't even carry it anymore, FPL (Fayetteville Public Library) should have it and it would be free. I gave him a big smile and graciously said thank you. What a nice guy!
So I trecked up to FPL.
Pause.
I love FPL, it makes me feel like a true Fayetevillian. I feel city like and important. I rented, Memoirs of a Geisha, Bridges of Madison County, Bullit, and Fiddler on the Roof. I've never seen any of these.
After reading Memoirs of a Geisha all week, I was freaking craving Chinese food (although the story is set in Japan) and I must have made half a box of economy sized Minute Rice this week. So after I watched it the first time last night, I made Chicken Fried Rice tonight to watch it again. Yummy.
Unpause. When I left and went down the elevator, there were 2 other people in there, two men and a woman and one of the men was one of those annoying single talkers that needs to comment on everything even though he's like gotta be over the age of 45. Do you know what I'm talking about? Well he asked me if the temper came with my red hair. I was like, I don't have red hair. He was like, well it looks red. I said prolly because I was standing under one of the lights of the elevator. It was that time that I got out of the elevator with one of the men. He just laughed and said wow. You just never know when it's gonna be one of those. Hahahahahahaa. So I said I guess it's just better to be polite than piss the crazies off.
Anywho, I think that will conclude my thoughts for today. I've been sleeping all freaking day. I have a big weekend this weekend and I'm watching The Big Bang Theory- one I haven't seen yet at that.
I'm honestly tired and after this episode, I'm going to watch Bridges of Madison County. I asked my mom if I would cry, and she said she would, but she cries at everything. I think I'm becoming more emotional though. I've been worried about the testosterone levels in my body lately in my inability to cry. But I cried at the end of Sandlot on the Fourth of July.
Ok. More thoughts later.
Do you have any thoughts for me?
-Amber
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
Pens only like to hang out with other pens. They're very clicky.
Sunday July 3rd
I don't know why my clocks say am or pm- like it matters. It's 3:02am btw. My nights and days are all messed up. I went to sleep at like 5am. Tyler woke me up on Saturday because I was late to Harrison and Kelly's cookout celebration for their wedding :) After that I went to my Aunt Connie's to try on my bridesmaid dress and just so happened, Christie and Shawn were there with his kids, Jordan and Timmy- some of the most well behaved children and sweetest kids I've been around. Then I went to Jose's to hug Ashtin- the whole restaurant was having a hard day after they lost one of their bartenders. Then I went home. The chicken I made for dinner Friday night was still on the stove- the boys hadn't eaten their portion. It really hurt my feelings. It was a really good meal that no one touched after Mom and I ate our share... I went to my room to read, but Dad had the tv BLARING so I went outside in the yard to read. I went with them to the Farmington Fireworks show and Jennifer met us there. It was good to see her.
Last night I was thinking that I just don't know why I'm here! I mean I have no idea what my purpose on Earth is right now. I feel like I have nothing going for me right now. No job, no money, no boyfriend, I live with my parents, and I can't do anything for very long periods of time at all.
I feel like I can't cry. Only in my car. I've cried so much in my car it's just ridiculous. I don't cry often. It really isn't in my nature. I think I got that from my dad. My mom has cried so much in front of me and I can't bring my body to cry with her. Even when I wanted to. I don't know what to do about anything in my life right now actually. Just keep praying I guess?
I remember a few weekends ago, when all my boy crap happened, I remember crying out, I'm not mad, I just want to know WHY.
I'm really tired of the attacks on my cat.
Respect has really been the word of the month. Respect of feelings. Respect of boundaries and space. Respect of property. Respect of animals-cats and horses. Respect of people. I have so many examples but I'll respect those people and situations and just tell you that respect is a very top virtue.
I wish I could be IN music. I wish I could be IN a song. I wish it could engulf me and surround me and that I could be the core it plays and survives on.
There is so much good in my life. Much worry and prayer and words I probably shouldn't let loose, but they do anyway. I try to live everyday with no excuses, but I usually end up in the opposite direction. It's so unfair that men can hit the pillow and be SOUND asleep. I finally get tired and close my eyes and a million words stream together running toward my memory for tomorrow. So then I was trying to think like a guy- what would I think about if I were a guy before I went to bed? Sex? Sleeping? Sports? Food? I don't know. Something that wouldn't change the world- and then I realize that I'm thinking- and that's the problem.
Something that made me UBER happy this week was that I bought chopsticks. I am the MASTER of chopsticks. I eat steamed rice and everything with them. The last time we went to The Panda for lunch (Father's Day), I ate my entire meal with chopsticks- except my Egg Drop Soup. I wish I had an Egg Drop Burger. That would be DIVINE! Am I rambling?
I came home last week from therapy with my mom and my dad came in and raised his voice that we were completely out of cups and that I needed to run the dishwasher full of them IMMEDIATELY. My father doesn't say hello or goodbye or goodnight or i love you when i leave. But he let's me know that we need to run an emergency load of cups- heaven forbid we have to handwash them or use the one from yesterday. I don't want to go in to this right now. It didn't end well.
Man. I'm a debbie downer. My sleep is just off. More thoughts later.
Thanks for reading this one. I'm trying to be less cranky in my posts.
:/
I don't know why my clocks say am or pm- like it matters. It's 3:02am btw. My nights and days are all messed up. I went to sleep at like 5am. Tyler woke me up on Saturday because I was late to Harrison and Kelly's cookout celebration for their wedding :) After that I went to my Aunt Connie's to try on my bridesmaid dress and just so happened, Christie and Shawn were there with his kids, Jordan and Timmy- some of the most well behaved children and sweetest kids I've been around. Then I went to Jose's to hug Ashtin- the whole restaurant was having a hard day after they lost one of their bartenders. Then I went home. The chicken I made for dinner Friday night was still on the stove- the boys hadn't eaten their portion. It really hurt my feelings. It was a really good meal that no one touched after Mom and I ate our share... I went to my room to read, but Dad had the tv BLARING so I went outside in the yard to read. I went with them to the Farmington Fireworks show and Jennifer met us there. It was good to see her.
Last night I was thinking that I just don't know why I'm here! I mean I have no idea what my purpose on Earth is right now. I feel like I have nothing going for me right now. No job, no money, no boyfriend, I live with my parents, and I can't do anything for very long periods of time at all.
I feel like I can't cry. Only in my car. I've cried so much in my car it's just ridiculous. I don't cry often. It really isn't in my nature. I think I got that from my dad. My mom has cried so much in front of me and I can't bring my body to cry with her. Even when I wanted to. I don't know what to do about anything in my life right now actually. Just keep praying I guess?
I remember a few weekends ago, when all my boy crap happened, I remember crying out, I'm not mad, I just want to know WHY.
I'm really tired of the attacks on my cat.
Respect has really been the word of the month. Respect of feelings. Respect of boundaries and space. Respect of property. Respect of animals-cats and horses. Respect of people. I have so many examples but I'll respect those people and situations and just tell you that respect is a very top virtue.
I wish I could be IN music. I wish I could be IN a song. I wish it could engulf me and surround me and that I could be the core it plays and survives on.
There is so much good in my life. Much worry and prayer and words I probably shouldn't let loose, but they do anyway. I try to live everyday with no excuses, but I usually end up in the opposite direction. It's so unfair that men can hit the pillow and be SOUND asleep. I finally get tired and close my eyes and a million words stream together running toward my memory for tomorrow. So then I was trying to think like a guy- what would I think about if I were a guy before I went to bed? Sex? Sleeping? Sports? Food? I don't know. Something that wouldn't change the world- and then I realize that I'm thinking- and that's the problem.
Something that made me UBER happy this week was that I bought chopsticks. I am the MASTER of chopsticks. I eat steamed rice and everything with them. The last time we went to The Panda for lunch (Father's Day), I ate my entire meal with chopsticks- except my Egg Drop Soup. I wish I had an Egg Drop Burger. That would be DIVINE! Am I rambling?
I came home last week from therapy with my mom and my dad came in and raised his voice that we were completely out of cups and that I needed to run the dishwasher full of them IMMEDIATELY. My father doesn't say hello or goodbye or goodnight or i love you when i leave. But he let's me know that we need to run an emergency load of cups- heaven forbid we have to handwash them or use the one from yesterday. I don't want to go in to this right now. It didn't end well.
Man. I'm a debbie downer. My sleep is just off. More thoughts later.
Thanks for reading this one. I'm trying to be less cranky in my posts.
:/
Friday, July 1, 2011
To be old and wise, you must first have to be young and stupid.
6-28-11 After 5pm. Barnes and Noble
I came to look at some bridal magazines for Christie's wedding-for ideas. I feel like I haven't journaled in forever. Friday night I went to a bbq with Kate, a singles study group for her church and we had a funny time finding it. It was an ok bbq I guess. The male to female ratio was a little ridiculous, but the food and conversation was good. I was a little embarrassed because I felt like I dominated the conversation. I need to get out more. I am really good at listening but even better at talking. Always have been. It's awkward talking about what I do on a daily basis too. I feel like there is too much detail in the nothingness that I do. Markette said she felt like my tasks were "saint like". Ha. I laughed. Makes me feel good though. Friday night I went to see Ashtin at Jose's and figure out a schedule for Sierra's party. I basically just talked to her and Nelson and wrote out the clues for the scavenger hunt. Mikey text me while I was there. I was in shock. I thought we were officially over. He was being very civil which was nice. Usually he's just hurt and mad about the whole situation. Which helps nothing. He said he was in St. Louis helping a friend move and so after Jose's closed up, I went home. On my way home Mikey text me that he wanted to see me in an hour. I needed to trust him and he was actually in Fayetteville. Great. He no showed. I cried on dickson street walking back to my car. Ran into my ex boyfriend who was walking three blondes back to their car. Cried some more. Then I was almost to my car when a highschool friend and he basically just came up and held me while I cried. It was such a pitiful night. Men are just awful. I hope none of them are reading this. I don't know why they would though. Ha! I talked to Ashtin when I got home and got some things off my chest. I made a sandwich, found some chocolate, took my nighttime meds and watched a movie. I finally fell asleep at like 4am. Saturday was a little better. I woke up at 3pm and talked to my mom about what had happened the night before and she was very supportive of me being mad for a bit.
The show had to go on. I called Markette and then took the Yukon to the carwash and then escorted a group of 15 year old girls around Fayetteville. That wasn't as bad as you might think. Markette and I then went back to my house for a bonfire that my brother and cousin had set up. Markette and I went in early and talked to almost 4 or 5 am? I don't remember now. I haven't had a sleepover in forever and when I did it was in my apartment where everyone had their own couch and it's been a good couple years since I stayed up all night talking or shared a bed. Later Sunday Robert and I had a riding lesson. That was fun and I learned a lot.
Monday, Mom and I went to David's Bridal to try on bridesmaid dresses for Christie's wedding. We tried on a few different ones, decided on an unconventional one (which was absolutely gorgeous) and then went to lunch. There, we met the groom, a super nice guy named Shawn. Then Mom and I went around town. We went to Mustache Fayetteville and Riffraff. I was in love with both stores :) Later I found out that Toni Brown has furniture at Riffraff! Then we went to Sonic and got icecream and went to Daisies and Olives right before they closed. I had to do a quick skim through. It was a really good little afternoon. On the way home, Mom said that she really enjoyed our little "shopping" trips.
Tuesday I took Mom to therapy and since her therapist was going to be gone Thursday and Friday, we had a 9am therapy session on Wednesday. I woke up super early. After her appointment, we came home and I ate lunch and went and met my very dear friend Jennifer Meads for coffee at Arsaga's! I actually had Naked Juice instead of coffee, and we chit chatted and shared pictures. We didn't really catch up because I talk to this woman hourly, or "on the regular" as we call it. hahaha. I love her so much. She is there for me- hourly. We literally have the same life. We'll count that as the good. Coffee and shopping.
Later that night, Mom came out of the bathroom and she was crying. I tried to console her, but usually when she cries about being frustrated she doesn't want to cry on my shoulder because she feels awful that she is leaning on her daughter for support and comfort. I try to explain to her that it's what I'm there for and I'm happy to do it, but she usually just wants to work through it herself and if I can get her calmed down enough to go to bed, she sleeps like a rock.
Then that night I had a nightmare that she was dying and I couldn't get to her fast enough. I was trying to drive to her and couldn't find her and I just knew she was about to die. It was an awful nightmare and I couldn't tell that I was dreaming. Usually I can, unless it's that bad. So we'll count that as the bad.
I've been asleep the past two days. I kid you not. I do not do stress well. I haven't had any sleeping pills or anything. Yesterday I layed out and then came in and slept. Til this afternoon. So then I woke up and took a shower. Now I have a little bit of energy, but I think I'm going to be spending another night in my Harley Davidson pajamas eating M&Ms and watching British comedies. Don't judge me.
Hugo has been so lovey this week. Lub him. He's been such a joy.
Thanks for reading.
More thoughts later. :)
-Amber
I came to look at some bridal magazines for Christie's wedding-for ideas. I feel like I haven't journaled in forever. Friday night I went to a bbq with Kate, a singles study group for her church and we had a funny time finding it. It was an ok bbq I guess. The male to female ratio was a little ridiculous, but the food and conversation was good. I was a little embarrassed because I felt like I dominated the conversation. I need to get out more. I am really good at listening but even better at talking. Always have been. It's awkward talking about what I do on a daily basis too. I feel like there is too much detail in the nothingness that I do. Markette said she felt like my tasks were "saint like". Ha. I laughed. Makes me feel good though. Friday night I went to see Ashtin at Jose's and figure out a schedule for Sierra's party. I basically just talked to her and Nelson and wrote out the clues for the scavenger hunt. Mikey text me while I was there. I was in shock. I thought we were officially over. He was being very civil which was nice. Usually he's just hurt and mad about the whole situation. Which helps nothing. He said he was in St. Louis helping a friend move and so after Jose's closed up, I went home. On my way home Mikey text me that he wanted to see me in an hour. I needed to trust him and he was actually in Fayetteville. Great. He no showed. I cried on dickson street walking back to my car. Ran into my ex boyfriend who was walking three blondes back to their car. Cried some more. Then I was almost to my car when a highschool friend and he basically just came up and held me while I cried. It was such a pitiful night. Men are just awful. I hope none of them are reading this. I don't know why they would though. Ha! I talked to Ashtin when I got home and got some things off my chest. I made a sandwich, found some chocolate, took my nighttime meds and watched a movie. I finally fell asleep at like 4am. Saturday was a little better. I woke up at 3pm and talked to my mom about what had happened the night before and she was very supportive of me being mad for a bit.
The show had to go on. I called Markette and then took the Yukon to the carwash and then escorted a group of 15 year old girls around Fayetteville. That wasn't as bad as you might think. Markette and I then went back to my house for a bonfire that my brother and cousin had set up. Markette and I went in early and talked to almost 4 or 5 am? I don't remember now. I haven't had a sleepover in forever and when I did it was in my apartment where everyone had their own couch and it's been a good couple years since I stayed up all night talking or shared a bed. Later Sunday Robert and I had a riding lesson. That was fun and I learned a lot.
Monday, Mom and I went to David's Bridal to try on bridesmaid dresses for Christie's wedding. We tried on a few different ones, decided on an unconventional one (which was absolutely gorgeous) and then went to lunch. There, we met the groom, a super nice guy named Shawn. Then Mom and I went around town. We went to Mustache Fayetteville and Riffraff. I was in love with both stores :) Later I found out that Toni Brown has furniture at Riffraff! Then we went to Sonic and got icecream and went to Daisies and Olives right before they closed. I had to do a quick skim through. It was a really good little afternoon. On the way home, Mom said that she really enjoyed our little "shopping" trips.
Tuesday I took Mom to therapy and since her therapist was going to be gone Thursday and Friday, we had a 9am therapy session on Wednesday. I woke up super early. After her appointment, we came home and I ate lunch and went and met my very dear friend Jennifer Meads for coffee at Arsaga's! I actually had Naked Juice instead of coffee, and we chit chatted and shared pictures. We didn't really catch up because I talk to this woman hourly, or "on the regular" as we call it. hahaha. I love her so much. She is there for me- hourly. We literally have the same life. We'll count that as the good. Coffee and shopping.
Later that night, Mom came out of the bathroom and she was crying. I tried to console her, but usually when she cries about being frustrated she doesn't want to cry on my shoulder because she feels awful that she is leaning on her daughter for support and comfort. I try to explain to her that it's what I'm there for and I'm happy to do it, but she usually just wants to work through it herself and if I can get her calmed down enough to go to bed, she sleeps like a rock.
Then that night I had a nightmare that she was dying and I couldn't get to her fast enough. I was trying to drive to her and couldn't find her and I just knew she was about to die. It was an awful nightmare and I couldn't tell that I was dreaming. Usually I can, unless it's that bad. So we'll count that as the bad.
I've been asleep the past two days. I kid you not. I do not do stress well. I haven't had any sleeping pills or anything. Yesterday I layed out and then came in and slept. Til this afternoon. So then I woke up and took a shower. Now I have a little bit of energy, but I think I'm going to be spending another night in my Harley Davidson pajamas eating M&Ms and watching British comedies. Don't judge me.
Hugo has been so lovey this week. Lub him. He's been such a joy.
Thanks for reading.
More thoughts later. :)
-Amber
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