What's in a name?

Juliet:
"What's in a name? That which we call a rose
By any other name would smell as sweet."
Romeo and Juliet (II, ii, 1-2)


So then, do you think if I were any other name than Amber, would I be the same?
Do you think I would be sweet?

Ha. Probably not.

So when this semester started, one of my class professors (Women and Christianity) wanted to learn all of our 35 names and so for her and kinda everyone to get to know our name and remember it she asked us to tell our name and tell how we got our name. Oh boy. Have you heard this story? It's about as long as I am.

First of all, I was supposed to be born at the end of August and I was born in the middle of August, and they didn't know my gender until I was born. If I was a boy, I would have been the Robert E. Tyree of the group. But I wasn't. So my mom and dad say that they could not agree on my name. Lots of names that my mom liked, well it's not that my dad didn't like them, it's that he had dated someone with that name and that wouldn't be appropriate or good for me. And I'm told that it took a long time to name me. They joked they could give me a funny name: Gertrude Fayrine. Call me Gerdy Faye for short. And sometimes they still do and sometimes in High School, it would be funny to call me that.
I embraced it. I had it stamped on my yearbooks. I still sign all my artwork with a "GF" which you will have noticed if you ever took art with me or have gone to "Painting With A Twist" with me. For  a while after high school, working with an Amber everyday, I considered going by Trudy. Why not. Kinda cute right? Trudy Tyree. There are worse things to be called, or named ....but don't get me on that subject, it doesn't end well for many a person in today's world. But my mom also told me that she really liked the name Julie. And I think it's beautiful as well. But my dad had a mule named Julie and that took it out of the running, as well as the name Kate, the dog (I think blue heeler) they had when they were first married.

So a week after class starts, and I'm out to eat with the family, I retell the story of how my professor wanted to learn all of our names and how we had to tell her the story. Well, this story obviously isn't climactic as we all know my name. But there is, as always with me, a funny bit.
My dad asks if I was brave enough to tell them about my Gerdy Faye fate/option. Yes, I did and also how Mom wanted Julie but you had a mule named Julie so I couldn't be Julie. Do you see where this is going?

What? I never had a mule named Julie. OH. Ha. I just never liked that name.

What a long joke in the making.
But here I am.  Amber. Amber Dawn.
In case you didn't realize it, all of my names are nouns without being proper nouns. Amber, a color or gem, dawn, a time of the morning, and Tyree (Tyre) a (sinful) city in the bible off the Jordan River.

So if I was another name- would I still be me?
Probably not.
But I won't apologize for it ;)

~Amber

Validation

Have you ever gone on living for a little bit of time and thought, "Man, does no one like me anymore"?

When I separated myself from facebook, I purposely took myself out of daily spotlight. I didn't need hundreds of people checking in everyday or a couple times a day even to see what I was up to and what I was not doing. But now that I am out of that light, and I'm going on and trying to live a simple life and live for God, and seek God, and have God check in on me a couple times a day to see what I'm up to and what I'm not doing and what's going on in my head, I'm like, do people I know even like me anymore?

It's funny -maybe. Those "Likes" and "Comments", although I craved them when I was actually participating in Facebook, are now missing from my life. Do people not "like" my everyday scrambles? Do they not have a thought they care to share? Are people saying things about me? Am I not validated? Am I not thought well of? Am I not affirmated?

Does that matter?

Maybe it's a girl thing. Maybe it's a silence thing. Maybe I'm paranoid.
Do rockstars feel like this? They must- they do shows and display their lives and talents, and it's exhausting and they love it and everything suffers. And fans scream "we love you" "I love you" and they say back, "Oh I love you too. Believe me I do."

And then they take a break. And they go home and they spend time with their families and on themselves and live simpler, live healthy, take care of themselves, and it takes them a while to get back out there on the road, to produce another cd, to write something they think someone will care about. Because no one is screaming in their face, "You are good at what you do and you are liked".
But that's on a grand scale. I'm like 1/100th of that kind of following.

But if you're out there, and your feelings have not changed, will you tell me?
And basically, I just calculated, as you can see that I am indeed:
1/100th Rockstar.
Hugo agrees.

Per ardua.
Amber

Kickstarter

Hello my cyber family of followers.

I am still enjoying my hiatus from Facebook and haven't really missed it. I've been posting to Instagram once in a while and checking my twitter when I think of it, but mostly I have been reading, relaxing, talking to those who come to me first, trying to get a head start on school, working, digging into bible study, being a hermit, watching Netflix, researching scripture for my prayer journal I want to start, cleaning, trying to be a much healthier version of myself. And it's very peaceful to know that I don't have eyes on me all day long. Ah serenity. It's actually 5:50 am (Saturday) and I have had a rough cough and on and off low grade fever today. Right now I am listening to "The Benedictine Monks of Santo Domingo (on youtube) and I'm wondering where this has been my whole life. Especially when I was putting dozens of small toddlers down for nap for two plus years. Ha! And I'm drinking coffee out of my new favorite coffee mug that Dolly Parton herself gave to me! You'd have to see it to believe it.

I decided to get back into blogging, because I like to post but don't like the criticism Facebook brings, and let's face it, I'm funny. And several people like my updates on my "this can't be my life" life.

Hopefully I can keep an online record of some prayers that I will be praying and some scripture to keep me focused on the need in the prayer. I've been working on this for a couple of weeks as well as preparing for classes at UofA that start in just a couple of weeks! Also, I would love to tell you some of the stories that come my way when I substitute and encounter those hilarious things God made called children.

So as I put together and do some final organization of my Prayer Journal, I wanted to start off with some scripture...about prayer. Did you see that coming? Here goes:

1)   2 Chronicles 7:14 New International Version (NIV)

¹⁴ if my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and I will forgive their sin and will heal their land.

2) The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears them; he delivers them from all their troubles. (Psalm 34:17)

3) In my distress I called to the Lord; I cried to my God for help. From his temple he heard my voice; my cry came before him, into his ears. (Psalm 18:6)

4)In him and through faith in him we may approach God with freedom and confidence. (Ephesians 3:12)

5) I will praise you, Lord, with all my heart; before the "gods" I will sing your praise. I will bow down toward your holy temple and will praise your name for your unfailing love and your faithfulness, for you have exalted your solemn decree that it surpasses your fame. (Psalm 138:1-2)

6) But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed. (Luke 5:16)

7) In the same way the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. (Romans 8:26)

8) I urge you, brothers and sisters, but our Lord Jesus Christ and by the love of the Spirit to join me in my new struggle by praying to God for me. (Romans 15:30)

9) And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, (Phillipians 1:9)

My intention is to not only ask, but to praise! I often forget to sit down and "butter up the king" as it is in my head. Have a laugh in my thinking of how I ask and ask from Him, and rarely stop to say, "Daddy, you know I love you right? You are mighty and wonderful and the only one worthy of praise. And I know you love me because of all your blessings and your daily account in my head and my heart." Sometimes I just get stressed about what needs to be prayed about because it's out of my hands and I can't switch to talking to daddy mode quite so efficiently. I'm working on it.

I may put together something cute that I can share with everyone so they can stay organized in their prayers and needs. I have a schedule, as follows:

Monday: Family, Friends, Relationships,
Tuesday: God's Will, Spiritual Life, Church and Ministry Growth
Wednesday: Work, Home, Finances, School/Education
Thursday: Praise and Blessings, Health, Strength, Peace, Healing, Comfort
Friday: Our Nation and soldiers, Those who don't know the name of Christ, Peace
Saturday: Forgiveness, Humans in poverty, hurting, unfortunate, world hunger and health, Human trafficking.


I may tweak this some and of course I will have some very specific situations every day to pray for. My goal is to have a resource of verses of what the bible says about these situations to give focus and standing to my prayers. Should be coming together nicely, and soon!

Hope all is well and all is bright as we ring in a new year :)

Per ardua-
Amber (and Hugo)