Validation

Have you ever gone on living for a little bit of time and thought, "Man, does no one like me anymore"?

When I separated myself from facebook, I purposely took myself out of daily spotlight. I didn't need hundreds of people checking in everyday or a couple times a day even to see what I was up to and what I was not doing. But now that I am out of that light, and I'm going on and trying to live a simple life and live for God, and seek God, and have God check in on me a couple times a day to see what I'm up to and what I'm not doing and what's going on in my head, I'm like, do people I know even like me anymore?

It's funny -maybe. Those "Likes" and "Comments", although I craved them when I was actually participating in Facebook, are now missing from my life. Do people not "like" my everyday scrambles? Do they not have a thought they care to share? Are people saying things about me? Am I not validated? Am I not thought well of? Am I not affirmated?

Does that matter?

Maybe it's a girl thing. Maybe it's a silence thing. Maybe I'm paranoid.
Do rockstars feel like this? They must- they do shows and display their lives and talents, and it's exhausting and they love it and everything suffers. And fans scream "we love you" "I love you" and they say back, "Oh I love you too. Believe me I do."

And then they take a break. And they go home and they spend time with their families and on themselves and live simpler, live healthy, take care of themselves, and it takes them a while to get back out there on the road, to produce another cd, to write something they think someone will care about. Because no one is screaming in their face, "You are good at what you do and you are liked".
But that's on a grand scale. I'm like 1/100th of that kind of following.

But if you're out there, and your feelings have not changed, will you tell me?
And basically, I just calculated, as you can see that I am indeed:
1/100th Rockstar.
Hugo agrees.

Per ardua.
Amber