I haven't blogged in a while. 3 weeks straight I was working like 6:45 to 5 chasing toddlers. This past week has finally been halfway normal. I've been trying to get in as much "me" time as possible. 17 2 year olds all day and then coming home to a house of someone needin something is just not what I needed. I had some continuing education classes two nights this week and then i did a craft night with some of the girls with work and then two nights in a row I stayed with my cousin Christie. It was nice to have some girl talk and laughs.

I have been so discouraged lateley. Men have been waltzing in and out of my life and it's just been hitting me hard. I don't have the best relationship with my father and although I try not to make male attention so weighted in my life, I can't handle rejection or leaving or misunderstanding. Especially when they want more than I can ever give right off the bat... ifyou know what I mean.

So anyways, I've been trying to surround myself with things and people that make me happy. Ribbon sales from hobby lobby, shopping at Daisies and Olives, shopping in general, bookstores, coffeeshops, design books and magazines.

I read "The Help" this week. Such an excellent book. I'm loaning it to a friend this week and there are two people after her that want to borrow it from me.
Epic.

Ok so maybe we'll count that as the juggling.

The Good:
As far as everyone can tell, Dad's pathology report came back clear. They won't be able to check again for another 6months, but as far as his doctors can tell, the cancer didn't spread anywhere and they think they got it all when they took his prostate. His remission/recovery has been pretty smooth I guess. He did his first cutting of hay last week.
Mom has been doing good. I think she's getting used to the fact that I'm not around much and need some down time outside of the house. Her and my cat Hugo have become great little buddies. I text her once a day (usually around nap time) to see how she's doing and she's been working on a STACK of homework since Dad couldn't get her to therapy for a while with his recovery, but I think she's back at it now.

We found her wedding ring finally. It's been a year and a half of looking and kinda hoping she'd forget about it.
Had a nice little cry on that one.

Big Bang Theory Season 4 came out last weekend and that's all I did- stayed home and watched it in bed with my Pjs on....

Looks like I've got some exciting days this week and good weekends coming up.
Next weekend looks like I get to go to the Tulsa Rodeo and Tulsa state fair. Then the next weekend horse camp and then the next two weekends, camping at roaring river.

It has been a real struggle for me to stay at home sometimes. I long for my independence and my own apartment and my own life and all my quiet time and doing what I want when I want with who I want and it's just been tough.

I miss the crisp breeze flowing in from mlk blvd and hearing the marching band practice 3 blocks away in lot 56. I miss having all my decorations up and living in the heart of fayetteville. Having friends over at least once a week. Sitting out on my porch and drinkin coffee in the mornings and listening to the traffic buzz. I miss being 7 minutes from everything, doing laundry at 3 in the morning if I wanted to and being able to walk to classes. I miss having my things and my life and putting worry in a box outside the door. I miss not having to burn my trash and having a garbage disposal. I miss eating brownies for every meal and lounging all day without the expectation of working on my day off.

I don't know what I'm going to do.
Home hasn't been home much lately.

Just wanted to share that tid bit on my parents and how everyone is doing.
Robert is as ornery as ever.

Love you all.
Amber